Saturday, January 17, 2009

Ok, so maybe I'm not so great at journaling.

Here's the thing, I'm really enjoying this book. Lots of thought provoking stuff in there. On many occasions I've found myself say "Hey Kev, listen to this...". I think what's preventing me from going great guns on this assignment, even this course, is that the thought of actually interacting with this stuff is scary to me. Right now I think I kind of know who I am. Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. Right now I think I have a handle on what my life looks like. I'm a mom who spends an inordinate amount of time cooking and doing the laundry and on top of that is freaking out at the prospect of parenting a teenager in a couple of years. I'm a wife who loves her husband and is trying to make that relationship a priority. Not only am I a wife, I'm the pastor's wife. That comes with it's own can of worms:) but I'm beginning to feel like after a very long time that I'm finding my groove in that can of worms. So on top of all that, or should I say, underneath all that I'm a child of God. I am a child of God. That's me, a child of God.

I'm rambling. I know that nothing happens by accident. It is certainly no accident that I'm taking this course right now. 2 years after God intervened in my life in a BIG way and we started to get reacquainted. I'm just starting to figure out what being a child of God is all about. Before I've even had a chance to catch my breath He sends me off on this adventure...."go back to school". Seriously? Are you kidding me? What in the world for? I am a child of God. The thought that He might have some purpose...calling that He created me for is almost too much to take in. I feel so unworthy. So completely inadequate and scared.

Maybe that's why I'm dragging my feet;)

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